Office politics and the home front
Oct. 7th, 2002 03:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
payne_n_diazThis is gonna be a long one...
Back when my wife and I were dating she had a new neighbor move in - we'll call him Mick for the sake of giving him an identity in this journal entry. She used to tell me a lot about him, and how nice he was and how helpful he was, and it got the point where I wondered if maybe she was a little interested in him (call it a case of testoterone fueled paranoia). Anyway, right after we got engaged he helped her get a job where he worked making more money than where she was working before (by coincidence, at my company).
A few months later, I moved into to her condo and now he is my neighbor. We got along, and he seemed very nice, so I had no problems with him. We even invited him and his roommate to our wedding (he showed, the roommate didn't). As time moved forward, my wife began to tell me that he is very different at work than he is at home. I told her that she shouldn't let that get in the way of being a good neighbor, and that she should forget about work stuff when she is at home, and leave home stuff behind when she is at work. I don't think she liked my advice...
So, flash forward to the present. My wife is constantly telling me what an ass-kissing corporate nazi our neighbor is at work, to the point where we would have the occassional argument - Me: "Leave it at work! We have to live next to this person and it just creates friction." Her: "He is always talking about me at work with my boss and I have to watch what I say. He tattles on me about stuff that happens at home." Stuff like that. It got to the point that I told my wife she was being hypersensative to this guy and it was affecting her in a negative way. She even limited herself in her contact with our downstairs neighbor, we'll call her Liza, because she is close to Mick and they spend a lot of time together. Now me, I am all about being Rodney King - "Can't we all just get along?" But recently I am starting to see my wife's point of view.
Just after we met with our realtor and listed our property, my wife sent Mick an email at work. Her stance is, and I agree with it, is that selling our condo is our private business and when she is ready to share it with her supervisor and manager, it is her right to let them know when she wants them to know. But, we live next door to Mick, and it is very obvious there is a for sale sign in front of our place. She asked him not to say anything about it to anyone at work - and that very same day, her boss asked her how our plans to move to coming along. I dismissed it as a coincidence, but my wife didn't see it that way. Later that week he made a comment to her near the common area at work - "Hey, nice sign!" She didn't continue to conversation, as it seemed to be an attempt to get her to talk about it in the open so he could comment freely. I contemplated saying something to him, but I figured I would let her handle it until she asks for my intervention.
This last Friday, my wife sent me a copy of an email conversation she had with another co-worker. She was talking about being out sick the previous week and our condo being on the market and asked her not to talk about it with other folks in the office. She also said that she had asked Mick not to say anything. Well, her co-worker sent her some interesting info that pissed me off! Here is the info (verbatim) from that email:
> I hate to break it to you Mindy, but Mick is not a
> trusty person. He uses you as his brown nosy for other people. So, watch
> what you say to him and what your husband says to him. I heard you
> weren't sick, but having your kitchen fixed instead. So, that is what
> gets transfered to your boss. I just want you to know that.
The nerve of that motherfucker! I was livid when I read it! He has zero idea what happens behind our door, and he tells her boss and/or her co-workers, "Oh, she isn't sick, she's having work done on her kitchen." Utter Bullshit! While she was home, ill with an ear infection, our realtor had recommended a painter to us and he came over to give us an estimate. Not that he would know any of this because HE DOESN'T LIVE IN OUR HOUSE!
Needless to say, I am walking a very fine line right now. One part of me wants to beat the shit out of this brown nosing, ass-kissing P.O.S., and the other is being rational because the last thing I need is to go to jail for dismembering another human being. Plus, my wife still works with him, and I am sure anything I say or do will be repeated in some fashion back in her office. The other thing is that whoever buys our place is going to be his neighbor, and I shudder to think of the things he could say after we leave - "Oh yeah, they had a dog and a cat in there. You'll probably have fleas or something all over the place..." (Note: For the record - we have no fleas. Thanks to the scientists who created Advantage!) Should I say something? Anything? Or just let it slide for now until we sell and my wife quits her job?
What would you do in my situation?
Back when my wife and I were dating she had a new neighbor move in - we'll call him Mick for the sake of giving him an identity in this journal entry. She used to tell me a lot about him, and how nice he was and how helpful he was, and it got the point where I wondered if maybe she was a little interested in him (call it a case of testoterone fueled paranoia). Anyway, right after we got engaged he helped her get a job where he worked making more money than where she was working before (by coincidence, at my company).
A few months later, I moved into to her condo and now he is my neighbor. We got along, and he seemed very nice, so I had no problems with him. We even invited him and his roommate to our wedding (he showed, the roommate didn't). As time moved forward, my wife began to tell me that he is very different at work than he is at home. I told her that she shouldn't let that get in the way of being a good neighbor, and that she should forget about work stuff when she is at home, and leave home stuff behind when she is at work. I don't think she liked my advice...
So, flash forward to the present. My wife is constantly telling me what an ass-kissing corporate nazi our neighbor is at work, to the point where we would have the occassional argument - Me: "Leave it at work! We have to live next to this person and it just creates friction." Her: "He is always talking about me at work with my boss and I have to watch what I say. He tattles on me about stuff that happens at home." Stuff like that. It got to the point that I told my wife she was being hypersensative to this guy and it was affecting her in a negative way. She even limited herself in her contact with our downstairs neighbor, we'll call her Liza, because she is close to Mick and they spend a lot of time together. Now me, I am all about being Rodney King - "Can't we all just get along?" But recently I am starting to see my wife's point of view.
Just after we met with our realtor and listed our property, my wife sent Mick an email at work. Her stance is, and I agree with it, is that selling our condo is our private business and when she is ready to share it with her supervisor and manager, it is her right to let them know when she wants them to know. But, we live next door to Mick, and it is very obvious there is a for sale sign in front of our place. She asked him not to say anything about it to anyone at work - and that very same day, her boss asked her how our plans to move to coming along. I dismissed it as a coincidence, but my wife didn't see it that way. Later that week he made a comment to her near the common area at work - "Hey, nice sign!" She didn't continue to conversation, as it seemed to be an attempt to get her to talk about it in the open so he could comment freely. I contemplated saying something to him, but I figured I would let her handle it until she asks for my intervention.
This last Friday, my wife sent me a copy of an email conversation she had with another co-worker. She was talking about being out sick the previous week and our condo being on the market and asked her not to talk about it with other folks in the office. She also said that she had asked Mick not to say anything. Well, her co-worker sent her some interesting info that pissed me off! Here is the info (verbatim) from that email:
> I hate to break it to you Mindy, but Mick is not a
> trusty person. He uses you as his brown nosy for other people. So, watch
> what you say to him and what your husband says to him. I heard you
> weren't sick, but having your kitchen fixed instead. So, that is what
> gets transfered to your boss. I just want you to know that.
The nerve of that motherfucker! I was livid when I read it! He has zero idea what happens behind our door, and he tells her boss and/or her co-workers, "Oh, she isn't sick, she's having work done on her kitchen." Utter Bullshit! While she was home, ill with an ear infection, our realtor had recommended a painter to us and he came over to give us an estimate. Not that he would know any of this because HE DOESN'T LIVE IN OUR HOUSE!
Needless to say, I am walking a very fine line right now. One part of me wants to beat the shit out of this brown nosing, ass-kissing P.O.S., and the other is being rational because the last thing I need is to go to jail for dismembering another human being. Plus, my wife still works with him, and I am sure anything I say or do will be repeated in some fashion back in her office. The other thing is that whoever buys our place is going to be his neighbor, and I shudder to think of the things he could say after we leave - "Oh yeah, they had a dog and a cat in there. You'll probably have fleas or something all over the place..." (Note: For the record - we have no fleas. Thanks to the scientists who created Advantage!) Should I say something? Anything? Or just let it slide for now until we sell and my wife quits her job?
What would you do in my situation?
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no subject
Date: 2002-10-08 08:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-08 11:35 am (UTC)Amelie is one of my favorite movies. It's a French film (although many American reviewers loved it), so I hope you can deal with subtitles. If you don't want to watch it, let me know and I'll spoil it for you.
no subject
Date: 2002-10-08 11:56 am (UTC)I doubt I'll have problems with the subtitles though. I have watched more than a few foreign films and dealt with them. I think it's better than watching a dubbed film - than it's like watching a Godzilla movie and all the lips are out of synch. That just bugs me!
Re:
Date: 2002-10-09 08:31 pm (UTC)p.s. thank you for your stack of posties...recieved them yesterday, and I'm sending a great little thing in return.